Four things I learned (among many other thangs) during pregnancy that nobody warned me about.
Before getting into the details, I want preface this all by stating I am not a doctor, nurse, doula, midwife, or any other pregnancy wizard. I am a man that is expecting his first child, and everything, I mean everything is new to me.
These past 9 months have been like attending a college science lab, and a psychology lab all in one course. Theres a lot of hands on learning, and to say I got immersed into this process is an under statement.
1) The first thing, and its the most important piece of information, is that Couvade Syndrome is real.
What is Couvade syndrome you may ask? Well its the reason that you also get morning sickness, weight gain, insomnia, mood swings and anything else your wife might go through. For me, I got everything Tasha went through, and even a few extra ailments. Mayo Clinic states; “Sympathetic pregnancy (couvade) describes a situation in which otherwise healthy men — whose partners are expecting babies — experience pregnancy-related symptoms” in case anyone felt I was making this part up.
Out of every symptom I felt from the lovely Couvade, I would say strong emotions were number one. We decided to start watching This Is Us during the first trimester, and you would’ve thought Tasha and I were watching videos of puppies getting slaughtered each night. The amount of tears, and wailing that went on would concern even the saddest soul. Even though the show does cause many to experience all the feels, for me it was heightened to a shameful level. Needless to say we are taking a break and will finish the series once baby girl is born
2) You need to be a better driver than Ansel Elgort in Baby Driver.
From what I understand, not all pregnancies are the same, and more than likely when we try to have a second child, that one won’t be the same. But, from reading countless articles, and endless searches for help and remedies, Morning Sickness is a very real thing.
For the expectant fathers out there, you need to understand something, its not actually morning sickness. When your wife wakes up puking, and then 5 minutes later gets nauseous from the oatmeal you cooked, don’t think it will subside around 10-11am. This is all day errrryday sickness. I referenced Baby Driver because if you need to drive anywhere, even 5 minutes away, you need to be alert. You’ll be weaving through traffic, and maneuvering to the side of the road to find a spot for Momma to open the door and release the evil in her stomach. This will happen A LOT, and there is no safe distance to drive, so be prepared.
Whoever coined the phrase is one of the worst people out there. Calling it morning sickness is a way of giving everyone false hope, and then making you feel broken/defective when you’re sick all day and night. Luckily, any pregnancy article out there will tell you its all day sickness, so there is no chance you will feel alone.
P.S.I’m still working on putting together a facebook group for all the moms out there. The goal is to find out who labeled it morning sickness, track him down (or his family) and defame their name.
3) Most Doctors appointments aren’t that important; but you still need to go every time. (granted its possible)
Upon the news that we were with child, I headed to amazon and ordered myself a bunch of books. Knowledge is power, and my goal in life is to be as powerful as Superman….with my brain. After getting through my first two books, I was shocked when I found out how often we would be going to the Doctor! During the third trimester the expectation is to schedule an appointment every week, and thats pretty spooky.
There are clearly some appointments that are crucial, and you will want to be there for sure.
The first appointment: This is where you hear the heartbeat, and this is extremely important. This appointment was so special for us, and as mentioned in section #1, I was weeping due to the hormones from Couvade’s. Even if you aren’t an emotional train wreck like me, it will be an awesome experience.
3rd Visit: This one could be important depending on the route you take. Tasha and I did genetic testing which would test the genetic makeup (obviously) but also we would find out the gender in about a week following the blood work! We had no idea we could find out our baby’s gender in 10 weeks?!
5th/9th Visit: These are the long ones. Its important to be there because there will be a lot of sitting around throughout the testing, and you did play a pretty significant role in the process, so you should be present as well. For the 5th (around 20 weeks) you will do the long ultrasound to see her body parts, and check to see that everything is perfect. This one was amazing, and it was so cool to see our tiny little girl’s hands, and feet and head. The 9th, was the glucose testing and where we went over our birth plan.
Most of the time you will be there for support, and thats fine. Each visit you will get to hear the heart beat which never gets old, and just hangout with your wife as you both get updates on the process. Its easy pease, don’t stress it.
4) The process is fun, scary, and overall awesome. We are coming down to the home stretch now and I can safely say we have experienced all the emotions and really can’t wait to meet our baby girl.
Why did I say scary?
Because Google is not your friend. EVER
As most soon to be parents, we have our phones in our hand or pockets at all times. At any given moment Tasha could experience a new feeling in her stomach and I would quickly type it into google. Everyone knows that you rarely get good news when searching Google. What happens next? You have to wait a week or two before the next Doctors’s visit and hear him tell you everything is fine. (which it will be)
Heres the the over-arching theme throughout most of our pregnancy: Get nervous, make a list of questions, have the Doctor tell us everything is normal– repeat.
Lets talk about the Fun. This pregnancy has for sure been fun more than anything. Everything has been completely new, and we get to go through it together. From picking out clothes, ( sooooooooo many clothes for this girl) looking at pinterest for ideas, and planning photshoots. It has been awesome. Our perspectives have shifted completely from ourselves, to falling deeper in love each day with baby girl. I have had more fun doing the baby announcement, gender reveal, and preagnancy photoshoots than any other shoots to date. Its crazy.
Tasha adores the attention she has been getting, as it serves as a continuous reminder that we will meet our baby soon. Every kick, and punch brings a perfect smile to her face, and I love to see my bride smile 🙂
**To the soon to be Dad’s ( and Mom’s), congrats! What an awesome journey, I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I had finished this blog before the baby was born, but I didn’t post it yet. We are currently at week 3 with our precious baby girl, Brooklyn Hope and its safe to say that my life will never be the same. My expectations have been far exceeded and the joy I felt before her birth can’t compare to what I experience staring at her today. Already sleep deprived beyond belief, both of our hearts continue to burst at the seams. We are looking forward to spending the rest of our lives with this girl, and loving her more than she could imagine.
We can’t wait to share pictures of her with you guys on social media, and she will obviously be the FoodbabyCA, because we don’t plan to slow down our foodieOC adventure. We are passionate about this, and have a good feeling that she will be passionate about food and travel as well.
Until next time 🙂
P.S. I missed one doctor’s appointment. Granted Tasha said it was literally the fastest appointment possible (blood pressure and weigh in) my pride took a slap in the gut. My competitive nature sometimes takes over.
P.P.S. We haven’t started watching This Is Us yet, we are still way too emotional, and cry at almost every facebook video we see.